I FELT HOPEFUL AFTER MY GP REFERRED ME. FOUR YEARS ON, I'M STILL WAITING TO BE SEEN

I was 19 years old when my doctor referred me to a gender identity clinic.

It was December 2019 and now – more than four years later – I’m still on a waiting list to have my first appointment.

Imagine how awful it feels to essentially have your life on hold, having support cruelly deprived from you.

I’m an adult. Why is this care being denied for such an unreasonable amount of time?

That’s why one particular part of the recently published Cass Review struck a chord with me: ‘NHS provision for children and young people across the board requires greater service and workforce development and sustained investment. Without this we are letting down future generations.’

As a transgender woman without access to life-changing healthcare on the NHS, I believe we’re not just failing future generations of young trans people – but current generations, too.

I feel like part of me has always known I was a girl. However, I never had any knowledge I could transition or guidance about what I was feeling. At the time, I also didn’t know any other trans people.

So I came out to my close friends when I was 14 years old, then to family two years later once I was in college. That’s when I started living as myself, including changing my name and outwardly presenting as female.

There were mixed reactions to my coming out but I’m lucky to have some family and friends who have supported me unwaveringly since the day I started living as my true self.

When I first asked my GP to refer me to the Tavistock Gender Identity Clinic in September 2019 at the age of 19, it took the next three months to convince him that this was the path I resolutely wanted to take.

It seemed to me that he had no prior knowledge of the referral process itself, nor did his care feel especially supportive to me as a vulnerable, young patient. The Cass Review actually addresses that many clinicians are confused about how to treat young trans people, which I believe is a major failure to their patients.

After I sent off my referral, I felt like I had made the biggest first step to getting the care I needed. Initially, I was hopeful and euphoric.

But as each year has ticked by without hearing so much as a word about being seen, it’s begun to make me lose hope.

While I’ve waited, I have tried several times across five different GPs to request any form of bridging prescription – such as a low dose of oestrogen, as well as testosterone blockers – to at least have some start on my transition journey as I await more specialist care.

But time and time again, I was rejected for a myriad of reasons.

One GP refused to prescribe it due to the fact he did not know enough about the effects it would have on me, but he didn’t seem willing to educate himself further. I asked if I could be seen by an endocrinologist to ensure my safety if I were to start the medication, but I was denied.

It has always felt like an uphill battle to be properly seen and heard.

As a result, I felt constantly exhausted by the whole process. I just wanted it to be over and done with so I could continue to live my life.

After years of waiting, I felt like the people who were supposed to provide a duty of care to me and help me get the support I needed had failed me. So I sought out alternative methods of gender-affirming care, like DIY medication – including blockers and hormones.

This would be safest with a GP monitoring blood work through an endocrinologist. Surely medical practitioners wouldn’t want young trans people to potentially put themselves in harm’s way.

But with very little provision for NHS care, it feels like there is no other course of action for me. In my anecdotal experience, the alternative to gender-affirming care is so bleak – depression, suicidal ideation and reduced quality of life can be common among transgender people not receiving adequate support.

I worry about the Cass Review recommendation in particular that proposes setting up ‘follow-through services’ for 17 to 25-year-olds. What if this delays access to care even more?

I am fast approaching the age of 25, but I believe the repercussions from this report – which both Labour and the Tories have said they will look to implement – will damage all individuals seeking gender-affirming care. 

This could easily result in far longer waiting times on top of an already strained system, as well as further deterioration of what little healthcare access we have left.

My biggest fear is that transphobes will abuse the report’s findings to suggest the implementation of a total ban on gender-affirming care within the UK altogether.

As for me, my future remains uncertain. It looks like my first appointment with the gender identity clinic will still be in a few years, if worrying average wait times are anything to go by.

I just want easier access to the support I need so I can get on with my life. Why is that seemingly too much to ask?

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2024-04-15T13:04:18Z dg43tfdfdgfd